We would like to take this time to address a serious threat to our running team: not running grrrl gone wild, but simply running grrrl GONE.
We 'lost' our first grrrl.
Our run began with the usual gusto and enthusiasm. Bier Me took the front (as she trains for London 2012), Her Broyle(s) Highness took the middle (and a potty break at Eclaire Bakery) and we entrusted Holla Back Girl to bring up the rear (an extremely important position in the running grrrl line up). The run began light and easy as we cruised through the village... however tunnel vision came over us as we ascended to the top of
Before we knew it, we were back at the Starbucks parking lot standing around casually sipping water and high fiving one another with our mouths full of G.O.R.P. It was then that Erin Go Brawl casually approached Holla Back Girl, with the innocent sentiment "where's my friend Erin?" Holla Back Girl's countenance fell as she realized her SEAL training had failed her "no man left behind" (not to mention the only reason we have someone run in the back is to make sure no one gets lost). We would like to say at this moment we all handled the situation with utmost grace and confidence but that's definitely not the case...cuz with Running Grrrl, B*tches always be crazy, so we did what seemed like the only reasonable thing to do: issued a statewide AMBER ALERT AMBER ALERT AMBER ALERT.
Our Amber Alert may be different than what you're used to... ours consists of running grrrl husbands circling James Way making semi frantic phone calls to the missing grrrl's family. Our situation turned from bad to worse as a call to Erin's cell phone immediately went to voicemail, and the husbands circled back around with an empty back seat. At this time, Holla back girl did the only right thing to do... she left a tearful message on the missing girls voicemail telling her it would be nice to see her back at the group again, but she'd settle for just being able to SEE her again. And then she began placing the appropriate phone calls to the insurance company, as this laid us wide open to our first law suit. Just as we were ready to throw in the towel, suddenly the clouds parted and the phone began to ring with cries of jubilation as Meggy Mayhem announced "she was lost but now she is found!" Let's just put it this way... it was better than waking up to a unicorn under your tree on Christmas morning.
So, Erin if you're reading this, once again our deepest apologies for letting you run an extra 10K. And if you're still on the fence about running grrrl or still in preliminary talks with your lawyer, please know, your next run will be a safe one (as the appropriate changes have been made to the last girl running protocol) and you won't be left alone to be picked up by a trucker and sold into human trafficking.
We love you girls all the time, but especially when you're lost.
See you Saturday....